This is a two part series on the “Respect of Egos.”
It is easy to misunderstand St. Thomas Aquinas’ condemnation of “respect of persons.” The notion we are to avoid “respect of persons” obviously does not mean we should disrespect anyone. Nor does it mean that we are supposed to treat everyone the exact same. Rather, in his section on Respect of Persons, St. Thomas Aquinas essentially teaches that the true Christian is to honor his neighbor in proportion to his level of virtuous living, not his social status.
In the above link, St. Thomas Aquinas writes about how we are indeed permitted to prefer one person over another. The saint writes: “For instance if you promote a man to a professorship on account of his having sufficient knowledge, you consider the due cause, not the person.” That is, you could morally promote one employee over another, especially if he has a higher level of virtue in his trade.
St. Thomas Aquinas then shows the “respect of persons” we Christians are to avoid: “But if in conferring something on someone, you consider in him not the fact that what you give him is proportionate or due to him, but the fact that he is this particular man (e.g. Peter or Martin), then there is respect of the person… For instance, if a man promote someone to a prelacy or a professorship, because he is rich or because he is a relative of his, it is respect of persons.”—St. Thomas Aquinas, Summa Theologiæ Q63.A1 respondeo.
This means friends and business partners should promote each other based on virtue, not popularity. Of course, in the home, this is sometimes different: A father should love a non-virtuous son as much as his virtuous son. Similarly, for interactions with the poor or for targets of our charity, we do not need to seek out the virtuous. But we do want to give our money to people who should use it well. St. Paul wrote: Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly.—Rom 12:16.
When St. Thomas Aquinas speaks of “respect of persons” being a mistake or sin, he essentially means “respect of egos” is the actual mistake or sin. In the next article, we will see how this honoring of big egos applies to narcissism and making yourself narcissist-proof, even in the traditional world.