If you want to see something new and serious from me, see here. But, on my Evernote, I recently looked at this satire that my teammate and I had made a decade ago for an upcoming conference while working for FOCUS (also in Virginia, where I am now—but back in 2004.) Forgive a few inside jokes, but here’s our FOCUS conference breakout-session title suggestions, mostly still valid suggestions for the next one:
- Protestants: Friend or Foe?
- Rainforest Decline: Ecoterrorism and the Catholic.
- How I made it to Life on the Rock.
- Dare We Hope that All Be Saved?
- Why Lord of the Rings was, like, totally Catholic.
- Fashion Tips for the New Evangelization
- FACT: What it originally stood for.
- Christendom vs. Steubenville: When will the war begin?
- MTV and the Jesuits: “Keepin’ It Real” on the way to hell.
- Breakout sessions: Why they’re much cooler than workshops.
- Do we have to be circumsized to be saved? Rethinking Acts 15.
- Mel Gibson vs. Justin Kraft: Who will win?
- File 852UY: Superstar FOCUS team infiltrates the KGB with spiritual multipication.
- A Heureumenic Analysis of Rahnerian Eschatological Solipsism
- So you want to be a eunuch? Rethinking Matthew 19.
- Predestination: Why you’re in Bible Study and your friends aren’t.
- Fun with Puns with Dr. Hahn: It’s Scott to be Good!
- Laser beams and the Vatican
- Fundraising in Hawaii: “It was so much fun!”
- Xtreme fasting: So extreme you don’t need the “E”
- The “I-know-Tony-Ariniello-Show!”…overbooked and canceled.
- Ways to Pretend You Belong in a Dorm.
- RPGs and How to Avoid Them—By Off. Kuetemeyer
- Why I deserve a Motorcycle—By Jim Jansen
- Bishop Morlino vs. Bishop Chaput: Who will get the guys?
- Lethal Weapon 5: How Mel Gibson told Jim Caviezel he won’t be in this one.
- Dumb things that Eck and Horn did on a mountain this summer: a documentary.
- The life of Shane Ortega, as mimed by Jim Caviezel.
- Self-flagellation: Then and Now
- Hippolytus: From Anti-Pope to Saint in 12 easy steps
- Deep Blue: The Staring Contest Between Staples and Martino
- “We Built This City on Rock and Roll: My life before Benedictine,” by Dr. Ted Sri