Old People with Cell Phones in Adoration

Senior-Woman-Using-Cell-Phone-716613

I got debilitated by some Indian food poisoning, so I let Ryan start the Camino without me.  I got some good time in adoration in Pamplona.  Let me be clear:  I love seeing people of all backgrounds and ages in adoration.  No one who claims to be pro-life should even begin to bothered by crying babies in adoration chapels.  At the other end of the spectrum, let me say that I love seeing the more “mature” generation in adoration, too.  However, someone needs to tell them how not to use a cell phone before the Blessed Sacrament.  Who will do it?  Ok.  I will do it in a top ten countdown:

10) You don’t have to go running out of the chapel to answer your cell phone.  Voicemail comes free with every plan.
9) Vibrate is not off. Vibrate is not off. Vibrate is not off.
8) If you actually expect phone calls (yes, assuming you’re going to run and answer them) please don’t put your phone at the bottom of your purse.
7) If you’re actually expecting an emergency to the point that the world won’t continue without you answering your cell phone in adoration, then that’s okay.  Short of that, please turn it totally off, not vibrate, not airplane mode.  This is an exercise in humility for arrogant people like me to remind ourselves that no one needs me as much as I need Jesus in adoration.  If your daughter really needs you, she’ll leave you a voicemail without considering if she should leave the family, just because you didn’t pick up.  
6) If you plan on your phone ringing in adoration, please pick a different tune than circus music.  This happened with an older woman in an adoration chapel in Pamplona today, so I realized this isn’t an American-only-problem.
5) Two accidental phone calls in the same adoration session is probably a sign you shouldn’t own a cell phone.  This too happened with the circus-woman in Pamplona today.
4) If you’re actually going to adoration in order to screen calls, although this approach is ridiculous, here’s some concessionary advice:  Please figure out the button needed to reject a call.  That’s better than panicking, answering it, and immediately hanging up on the caller.
3) Whatever you do, do not answer your cell phone in adoration, whispering “HELLO!?” into your phone.  This does not help anyone, in the chapel or on the other line.  Adoration is a special place, different from all the rest.  How different?  I once heard an older man in adoration clipping off his fingernails. I looked.  He was actually using  metal toenail clippers right before exposition of the Blessed Sacrament.  I turned and asked if he could please attend to his personal hygiene at home.  True story.
2) If you must have throat lozenges to talk on your cell phone, fine, but could the candy wait until home?  There are children in there you’re supposed to be setting the example for.
1) If you can’t remember any of these, here´s the best part:  Just don’t bring your cell phone into the adoration chapel.